Is Childhood Trauma Affecting Your Life?
(Yes You Can Heal)

Unresolved childhood trauma can have far-reaching and detrimental effects on our adult lives, from hindering relationships to compromising professional goals. If you’re feeling unease or distress that just won’t seem to go away, it may be time to take a closer look at the traumas of your past and seek help in order to heal them. Don’t suffer any longer than is necessary – address those unresolved issues so they don’t linger into future years!
Opening up about traumatic incidents isn’t easy but with proper support along this journey begins an opportunity for growth as well as healing old wounds once thought unchangeable. Have you been feeling anxious and overwhelmed lately? Maybe panicking or even withdrawing from daily life at times? It could be that your unresolved trauma is resurfacing, making it more difficult to manage. Examining the cause of this anxiety may help provide a sense of relief in due time.
What is unresolved trauma?

Unresolved trauma is childhood trauma that has not been adequately processed, resulting in long-term negative effects on the individual’s mental and physical health. It can include experiences related to childhood abuse, neglect, loss, or other traumatic events. Symptoms of unresolved childhood trauma may include anxiety, depression, flashbacks, nightmares, low self-esteem, guilt and shame, and difficulty forming trusting relationships. It is important to understand that childhood trauma can be both physical and emotional—and in either case, can lead to unresolved trauma if not adequately processed.
Left untreated, unresolved childhood trauma can have long-term effects on an individual’s physical and mental health, as well as their ability to form healthy relationships. The roots of your childhood trauma, unfortunately, stay unresolved. Although those symptoms may remain dormant for some time, any occurrence that causes psychological distress or reminds you of your previous trauma can cause these feelings to resurface.
Why can't the past stay away?

Even though your traumatic experience occurred in the past, it is only when you truly understand how trauma affects your present life – including symptoms and relationships – that it can finally be laid to rest.
As Freud said, we have a tendency to repeat our mistakes even if we’re consciously trying not to. That’s why you may find yourself in relationships that bear an uncanny resemblance with those which wounded you in the past.
Your past is never gone. Your symptoms and behaviors might come in many shapes, but they are all special to you. Without the right help, it can be challenging for you to understand how your childhood trauma still haunts your present life – leaving it unresolved. To finally move on from this difficult period of time, seek out assistance that will provide insight into the underlying causes of these struggles.
Where does the childhood trauma begin?

Trauma can sometimes be straightforward to spot – such as physical or sexual abuse. However, there are numerous other forms of childhood trauma that you may not think about. Neglect and the loss of a parent can cause immense trauma; so too can serious conditions in youth, learning disabilities leading to self-doubt, having an excessive number of siblings, being raised by emotionally distant parents or those who lived through their own traumas as children – even combinations thereof!
The childhood trauma may also come from traumatic events such as accidents, natural disasters or war. In some cases, childhood trauma can be caused by societal issues such as poverty and racism. All of these experiences can have a long-lasting impact on mental health and emotional development. It is important to recognize the many sources of childhood trauma so that it can be addressed and managed appropriately.
If childhood trauma is not addressed, it can lead to serious issues such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, low self-esteem and substance abuse. You may have even experienced some of these yourself.
Loss of a parent
Being deprived of a parent due to death or abandonment during your childhood can be one of the most gut-wrenching traumas you may ever experience. Even if well-cared for through other relatives, or by your remaining parent, this type of loss is something that goes far beyond the surface and leaves an emotional scar on those affected. If such grief wasn’t sufficiently seen, felt or expressed at the time it occurred however; then deep within yourself lies years worth of unexpressed sorrow which must still be mourned in order for healing to take place.
If you were young when a loved one was taken away or suddenly gone, it taught you that loss can happen at any time. This fear of losing someone again causes anxiety and affects your self-esteem even into adulthood; no matter how old you are when the trauma occurs. It becomes especially difficult to maintain close relationships because they signify the risk of potential heartache in the future.
Neglect
Growing up with neglect equates to having one’s emotional or physical needs unmet. In most cases, this is due to your parents being overburdened and consumed by other matters, but it can also be a result of mental illness that may lead them to expect you to take on the role as parent for your siblings or complete more household tasks than necessary.
Whatever the reason may be, your needs for love and security were neglected or even disregarded. No child should ever have to endure exploitation because of a parent’s wants. Children should always come first, especially when it comes to their emotional and physical wellbeing — if yours didn’t receive proper attention then you experienced neglect.
A learning disability
If you faced any struggles with learning, such as dyslexia or ADHD, it could have been very difficult to feel like everyone else. Even for the brightest minds out there who go undiagnosed and don’t receive proper help can start believing they aren’t smart enough. It is essential that we provide adequate assistance to those living with learning disabilities in order for them to conquer their journey of self-development and recognize their true potentials.
The repercussions of learning difficulties of your self-esteem can be devastating. You may have battled against insurmountable obstacles or given up completely – either way, you were never able to attain the results that you wanted. If this resonates with you, it could mean that you are still too obsessed with perfectionism; constantly trying to please yet feeling unworthy at the same time. Alternatively, even if your problems appear solved externally – their effects will linger deep within and cause lasting damage which might not necessarily surface immediately.
Severe childhood illnesses
Have you ever battled a life-threatening childhood illness? If so, then understand that your experience is shared by many others in similar situations. Chances are, it caused you to be excluded from customary social activities and made you feel lonely and different. Perhaps even scared.
Feeling socially uncomfortable or not knowing where you fit in could be a result of your hospitalization experience. Separating from parents, enduring medical procedures that can cause trauma, and being overcome with fear are all common during this time. If the attachment to your parents was strong and they were available for support throughout the process, then it may help ease any anxiety moving forward. But if there wasn’t security in those attachments or emotional availability before/during/after – then insecurity might still remain within current relationships due to feeling unsupported during such an important moment earlier on.
Having too many siblings can be a problem.
Have you grown up in a large family where resources seemed scarce? Often, when there are multiple siblings born close together and mothers who feel exhausted with their responsibilities towards them, it can be difficult to get your needs met. You may have felt like you were left wanting more than ever before.
Being the eldest in a family of several siblings can be both rewarding and trying. Despite the unconditional love within your household or lack thereof. Growing up with multiple brothers and sisters can have psychological impacts that last well into adulthood. You may have felt alone and invisible among the crowd of your siblings. Ignored, unnoticed, disregarded – you’ve never had the opportunity to be heard or appreciated for who you are. This can create feelings of emotional neglect and insecurity in a child that they will not receive love unless they become givers themselves instead of receivers. You might even feel lost with an intense need to belong without ever feeling like you achieve it completely; this problem is further compounded when mothers are either detached or absent from their children’s lives entirely.
Parents who are emotionally distant, disconnected, or overly anxious.
The scars of an absent parent can last a lifetime. Growing up without someone to listen, embrace and validate your feelings is devastating for children. Every child needs that sense of security and comfort – the feeling of being seen, heard, held and cherished by their parents as they grow up.
You may have been taught to be apprehensive and accept that love was not a given. Also if you had an anxious parent, who feared the worst and hid from society or refused to believe in trust. It may be understandable why such feelings of doubt linger within you.
The fear of a parent can ooze into the pores of their children, leaving them emotionally scarred and apprehensive. With this trauma comes an unexpected burden: inheriting anxiety from your parents you never even knew existed. Trauma can often be passed down from generation to generation, and a parent who is emotionally disconnected or anxious likely endured their own trauma as well.

Transgenerational trauma is real, and it can have a lasting impact on one’s life. If your parents experienced an unresolved childhood trauma, that pain has the potential to be transferred from parent to child – unbeknownst even- through the unconscious mind. Children are incredibly impressionable – it’s no wonder you felt the ramifications of whatever situation unfolded.
Parents who have endured trauma often act as a reflection of their own struggles, and cannot always provide the level of love and support that you need. Even more difficult is when your mother or father has experienced intense suffering, like in the case of war survivors – these losses can linger like an apparition for both them and for those around them.
Unresolved traumas, whether from childhood or adulthood, can linger and manifest in a variety of unexpected ways if left unaddressed. These experiences have the potential to haunt you long into adulthood unless they are properly addressed.
How does childhood trauma affect adults?
Even if you have tried to move forward from your childhood trauma, the wounded child inside of you can continue to feel its effects. Without adequate help and therapy, this part of yourself is still weighed down by traumas and pain that remain unresolved.
Although it may not be obvious, past traumas of childhood will often resurface during times of stress or when something in life serves as a reminder. These memories can range from subtle to more pronounced, but their presence lingers nonetheless.
It is likely that your childhood traumas are still manifesting in your life today – as depression, panic attacks, an eating disorder and a slew of other obsessions. You may also struggle to trust, have chronically low self-esteem or be consumed by fear of judgement. These symptoms could lead you to make desperate attempts at pleasing people around you or exploding with pent up frustration. Social anxiety can cripple even the bravest among us if left untreated.
What types of therapy techniques are used for childhood trauma?

In childhood trauma therapy, a range of techniques may be used to help people cope with painful experiences from the past. Techniques can include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, psychodynamic therapy, art and play therapies, family or group therapies, and more. These techniques can help children and adults develop healthy coping strategies and “rewrite” their childhood stories.
Megan Corrieri of Northstar Counseling & Frisco is trained and accredited in all of the above therapy techniques used. Her success rate of clients completing the therapeutic process is 100% as of 2/1/2023 in Frisco Texas. This is also in part why she has won an awards including Best Therapist in Plano, TX and 2022’s Top Healthcare Professionals in Frisco, TX.
Is it possible to resolve the emotional wounds inflicted by childhood trauma?

Absolutely, childhood traumas can be healed. To find the healing you are looking for, seek out a therapist who is trained in psychoanalytic or psychodynamic therapy practices. Some important and helpful tips to remember are.
- Establishing a secure, therapeutic space in which you can cultivate trust is critical.
- Initially, your therapist should and will recognize and accept any hesitancy or distrust you may have.
- It is key to find a therapist that can recognize how your childhood experiences, especially the difficult ones, influence who you are today. You may need multiple sessions with that therapy. Make sure they understand where you’re coming from emotionally. If not, keep searching until you have found someone with whom you feel comfortable sharing your story.
- We ought to embrace, encourage, and listen to all of our emotions without judgment; no matter if they are fear-induced panic, profound grief or raging indignation.
- Your therapy should progress at your comfort level — never feeling rushed or judged. You should always take the time you need to move forward in the healing process.
What you require is an understanding, compassionate and emphatic reaction. The fragile young soul still living within you needs to be protected and appreciated. But comprehension alone isn’t adequate; it’s essential that the person assisting also have expertise regarding childhood trauma and how it influences your life specifically. With such knowledge comes clarity about the particular effects on yourself.
You don’t need to suffer through any more episodes of stress or feeling overwhelmed due to past trauma. With the help of this therapy and by allowing yourself time for healing, you can start making progress towards overcoming unresolved childhood trauma and traumatic events. Take the steps needed to heal your soul today. Northstar Counseling & Therapy has trained therapists that will discuss your options and answer any questions you have in the initial 15 minute consultation.
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Megan Corrieri
Owner, Clinician, Wife & Mom
Free Childhood Trauma Consultation
Struggling from childhood trauma? You have come to the right place. We specialize in uncovering childhood trauma and finding ways to help you heal. Meet a therapist and decide for yourself how you would like to proceed.
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