Lack of Intimacy


What creates the lack of intimacy in relationships?

The lack of communication about feelings can create confusion and chaos in a relationship. Communication between partners is essential. Partners who never discuss their emotions or struggle to address feelings will never be able to have a healthy and happy relationship. There will always be struggles, more than needed, due to the fact that no one is a mind reader. This in return leads to a lack of intimacy.

One of the exciting and enjoyable parts of being a couple is sharing similar interests and hobbies. Doing activities together opens ups the possibility to more fun times, experiences, and building intimacy. Of course, it is okay if not all hobbies are shared, just as long as there are mutual enjoyable activities to partake in with one another. If this changes and a partner is no longer wanting to be involved in previously shared activities or hobbies a healthy conversation should take it’s place. 

When to know it's a problem

People who are private and refuse to share information about their personal going-ons can only lead to distance within the relationship. This leading of separate lives will naturally create a lack of intimacy. It’s important to note that this should not be confused with having some independency, which can be healthy in a relationship. When a partner is outwardly withholding information about themselves or their day it is a cause for concern. 

Feeling distant from your partner can turn into a major problem when one or both partners are feeling disconnected. This typically will lead to feelings of unhappiness and loneliness. This also further compounds the issue of partners wanting to work toward a resolution, as the disconnect promotes low motivation or desire for change.

Lacking support for each other often tends to be the final deal breaker for most people. The whole point of a relationship is to be loved, respected and supported. If this crucial component is left out, it is not uncommon for a partner to find that need somewhere else. Keep in mind, there is a distint difference in agreeing on everything vs accepting and supporting one another. 

The lack of intimacy isn't just sex

The component that most couples associate with intimacy is the physical closeness and sexual activity in the relationship. As we see above, there are many components of intimacy other than sex. This is not to say that sex isn’t important, it is, just as much as the others. When a partner is no longer wanting to engage in physical touch or sexual situations with the other, this may be an indication that the intimacy in the relationship is in serious trouble. 

The inability to listen to each other is another crucial and hurtful trait in relationships. If one person is willing to open up and share, it is the others responsibility to listen and understand. Without actively listening to the other person, they will see their thoughts and feelings landing on deaf ears. This doesn’t promote an environment where someone can feel appreciated and does not promote growth. This is where counseling can really benefit a couple.

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