How to Recover After Infidelity, Cheating & Affairs

Cheating, affairs and infidelity have been happening for ages in all types of relationships. It doesn’t discriminate based on era, age, gender or race. However, because of technology, some say cheating has become so much easier. Likely due to the fact that in the past people were limited to the opportunities directly in front of them. 

In today’s society cheating is so much easier with the invention of the internet. Now there are so many possible avenues with dating sites,  apps, cheating or hook up sites, and internet pornography. These can all be available to someone in the blink of an eye. Individuals no longer have to worry about proximity to cheat, now they can find someone or something anywhere across the globe.  

 

Despite the advances in technology and more opportunities for cheating, it doesn’t mean that individuals are doing it more. In fact, research has found that people are less likely to cheat than they have been in years past. It is believed that even with all of these new technologies, human values remain the same and the importance of fidelity.

Why is my partner cheating?​​

Various factors can prompt infidelity within a relationship. While the reasons for cheating are numerous and can be complex, certain standard triggers have remained consistent over time. These known factors potentially heighten the risk of a partner engaging in an affair.

  • Struggles with staying connected in the relationship.
  • Past actions causing trust issues or feelings of betrayal.
  • Low self-esteem and feeling inadequate.
  • Boredom or lack of passion/excitement.
  • Craving for sexual variety or different sexual experiences.
  • Feeling unappreciated or taken for granted.
  • Feeling neglected or not prioritized in the relationship.
  • External factors like an attractive third party, job pressures, or financial incentives.
  • Addictions that might impair judgement.

 

Remember, none of these issues alone can make someone cheat, but they can make it more likely. To make the relationship stronger, it’s important for partners to work on these problems together. This can include talking openly about what each person needs, dealing with any bad feelings or worries, and finding new ways to talk to each other. If cheating has happened, it will take time to make things better again. But if everyone is patient and understanding, trust can be built up again, and the relationship can become stronger in the future.

Need help overcoming or ending an affair?

About Megan Corrieri

MS, LPCC, LPC, NCC

Therapist | Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor | Nationally Certified Counselor

As an experienced couples therapist, I have spent over 15 years helping individuals and couples navigate through the complexities of affairs and infidelity. My approach focuses on building trust, resilience, and understanding, which enables me to guide you and your partner towards a healthier, stronger relationship. I’m dedicated to helping you address the challenges of betrayal, rebuild trust, and foster a deeper emotional connection. Don’t hesitate to reach out today to schedule your first session and embark on the journey towards a more fulfilling relationship.

Megan, a fully accredited therapist, holds licensure in both Minnesota and Texas. You can find her at NorthStar Counseling & Therapy, nestled in Suite 300 at 2591 Dallas Parkway, in the heart of Frisco, TX.

What are the risk factors to becoming a cheater?​​

Examining individual risk factors can offer insights into a person’s tendency to cheat. Numerous personal elements, while not definitive, can contribute to unfaithfulness or elevate the likelihood of infidelity.

  • A love-deprived upbringing, characterized by parents who fail to model a healthy relationship, may impact how a person views fidelity. Observing infidelity in parental relationships could make a child twice as likely to cheat in their own adult relationships.

  • Unresolved traumas, including physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, can alter an individual’s response to intimacy and affect their attachment style. Professional counseling can help address these issues and mitigate their impact on relationships.

  • Psychological factors, including specific personality disorders and low self-esteem, can make someone more susceptible to infidelity. Conditions like Bipolar disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder are often associated with higher rates of cheating. These individuals may exhibit self-centeredness and lack empathy. Those with low self-esteem might seek external validation to boost their self-worth, leading to infidelity.

In conclusion, understanding individual risk factors provides valuable insights into infidelity, whether it’s childhood experiences, unresolved traumas, or psychological issues. Yet, it’s important to remember these factors aren’t destiny. With the right professional guidance and supportive therapy, the cycle can be broken. If you or a loved one are navigating through these challenges, don’t hesitate to seek help. Remember, your future is not defined by your past, and change is always possible. Reach out today and take your first step towards a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

Is there a difference to being unfaithful vs a cheater?​​

Exploring the distinctions between unfaithfulness and cheating sheds light on the intricate dynamics of trust and loyalty in relationships. While they are closely linked, cheating and unfaithfulness aren’t identical. Cheating represents a severe breach of trust, often involving emotional or physical infidelity, ranging from intimate physical contact outside of the relationship to sexual encounters with someone other than the partner. 

Unfaithfulness, conversely, may not always involve physical interaction. It might be more about emotional and mental shifts that exceed acceptable boundaries for a committed partner. This could manifest as digital flirtation, sending private messages, or even fantasizing about someone else. 

Both cheating and unfaithfulness harm relationships due to their elements of deception and betrayal. Cheating can elicit stronger feelings of anger and betrayal due to its potential for physical intimacy that violates the established norms of a committed relationship. It also introduces health risks related to unprotected sexual encounters and potential transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. 

The primary distinction between cheating and unfaithfulness lies in the physical component – cheating usually involves it while unfaithfulness can be purely emotional. Nonetheless, the impact on the relationship can be equally destructive, as both behaviors encompass dishonesty, undermining the foundation of trust essential for any partnership.

Can habitual cheaters ever stop cheating?

The chances of reversing the trend of being a cheater depend on a number of factors. First, there needs to be an honest assessment of why the person was cheating in the first place. Was it because they were feeling neglected or unfulfilled in their current relationship? Did they feel like something was missing and sought attention elsewhere? Or did they simply act out impulsively with no thought as to the consequences? Understanding what drove them to cheat is important for making changes in the future.  

Reframing destructive paths

Once any underlying issues are identified, counseling and therapy can be used to create positive change. Working with a trained therapist or counselor allows a person to gain insight into themselves and their behavior. It provides an opportunity to evaluate why certain behaviors occur, become more aware of their choices and develop healthier coping mechanisms. This is also helpful for reframing distorted thinking which can lead people down destructive paths. Therapy can also provide education about healthy relationships and communication skills that can help in avoiding repeating impulses to cheat again in the future.
 

Having accountability

Having accountability is also essential for resisting temptation when it arises. A close friend or family member who knows about someone’s history of cheating can provide another layer of support when times get tough by providing encouragement or providing an outlet to talk openly and honestly about their struggles without judgement. Talking through difficult decisions with someone else can help provide clarity when considering whether or not an impulse should be acted upon. 
 
Meaningful connections
 
Finally, those who have been struggling with cheating should focus on creating meaningful connections within existing relationships instead of seeking fulfillment from outside sources. Communicating closely with partners about wants, needs, desires, and boundaries can help ensure everyone feels heard, appreciated, respected and loved. Taking time for self-care activities such as exercise, meditation | mindfulness practice, reading or hobby development can also help cultivate feelings of contentment that will further foster strong relationships over time. 
 
While some research shows that the old saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”. Reversing the trend of being a cheater isn’t easy but it is possible with some hard work and dedication. Identifying underlying causes behind the cheating behavior; utilizing therapy sessions; having an accountability partner; strengthening existing relationships through communication; and taking time for self-care activities are just a few strategies that could prove helpful in preventing future infidelity instances from occurring again. 

Will it happen again?​

It should be noted that with hard work and self-discovery through counseling and therapy, it is totally possible to avoid cheating or having an affair in the future. Reach out to for a free 15 minute consultation with Megan Corrieri if you would like to discuss your situation personally. 

Embark on a journey towards a brighter future.

We will create a personalized treatment plan for you that will address your unique needs and goals. This will empower you to make lasting changes and embrace a more fulfilling life. Let NorthStar Counseling & Therapy guide you on the path to wellness and personal growth.

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Megan Corrieri

Owner, Clinician, Wife & Mom

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