Bringing two different, no matter how different, people together in a relationship can inevitably cause stressors and difficulties. It is important to the health and quality of a relationship to seek help when problems arise, and also through that, learn new techniques to handle future struggles.
There are plenty of reasons couples seek marriage counseling.
Jealousy and Individual Insecurities. Past trauma, from childhood or previous relationships, can cause significant struggles. A history of parental abuse, previous relationship with a person struggling with addiction or being a survivor of domestic abuse can all affect the health of a relationship. Struggles with confidence and self-esteem have a ripple effect on others in the family.
Struggles with Addiction (drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling, etc). Addiction is a health crisis that goes far deeper than just the activity or substance the person is addicted to. A therapist can help identify the effect addiction has on a marriage, navigate difficult feelings that arise and connect a person suffering with addiction to specialized services.
Infidelity and Trust Issues. Trust is foundational to a relationship and once broken, can seem impossible to repair. One of the most common reasons couples seek counseling is because of infidelity resulting in trust issues. This is the most common cause of divorce in couples and an excellent reason to seek counseling.
Financial Struggles. Money is a common relationship stressor. It can bring on feelings of anxiety and a lack of control or deepen negative feelings that already exist. Therapists can help couples learn how to talk through and manage financial struggles more effectively.
Parenting Style Conflicts. Whether a couple shares biological children or have a blended family, one of the reasons couples seek out a therapist is because they disagree over parenting. This is especially true in the case of a child with special needs, medical issues or when spouses have a large age or cultural gap.
Lack of Communication or Difficulty Communicating. Sometimes partners need help communicating. They can have varied styles or not realize their method of communicating is harmful. If you’ve ever wondered if you and your partner are speaking two different languages, a counselor may point out that you’re either not communicating or you’re doing so in ways that simply don’t work.
Sex. While a decline in sex and intimacy is perfectly normal, a significant decline or complete stop is a problem. Couples should seek the help of a therapist if they notice significant changes in their sexual activity and intimacy.
The goals of couples counseling are similar to what you can expect to work on. Through therapy, couples work with a therapist to reach these goals so that they come away from the experience with improved communication skills, knowledge of their feelings and ability to manage their relationship and any future problems.
Couples therapy is a proven tool toward helping couples. The stats speak for themselves!
One of the most important statistics to be aware of is that about 80% of private therapists offer couples counseling. This shows the need for and regularity with which couples seek out this valuable service.
It’s believed that 50% of married couples seek counseling at some point in their marriage. If you feel like you’re in this alone, you’re not. Chances are, half of the couples you know have sought, are currently in or will seek out a counselor.
There’s great news, too! The success rate of couples in counseling is about 75% with couples reporting they stayed together and the process strengthened their marriage. We’ve come a long way since the 50% success rate of the 80s. An acceptance of outside help and availability of qualified therapists has improved the landscape tremendously.
The true end game of couples counseling is to not only find solutions and remedies for current and past issues within the relationship, but also to give the tools and knowledge for the couple to use in the future.
Chances are, if you’re on this page, you’re feeling unsure about the state of your relationship. You can learn 18 signs your relationship may be in need of couples counseling as further assessment. And, when you’re ready, find out how we can help you with a free phone or online consultation today.