12 Helpful Tips To Coping With Divorce
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Getting a divorce can be really hard, simply because you are dealing with a loss of your marriage. (See Marriage Counseling Success Rates) But there are ways cope with a divorce that make your life a lot easier.. With the right help, you can learn how to deal with divorce in a healthy way. Whether you are still grieving or just starting to feel stress from the divorce, we have 12 helpful tips for you. Learn practical tips on how to deal with your divorce and when you’ll know its the right time to get help from a divorce therapist.
What are normal feelings when you're coping with divorce?
It is normal to feel sad, scared, and depressed after a divorce. You might also have a lot of stress or anxiety. But there are things you can do to feel better. The sooner you start working on feeling better, the sooner you will be able to do the things you love again. “Divorce is tough, and the guilt or shame associated with it can be paralyzing. Therapy provides an outlet to tackle those tormenting emotions that you may feel, giving you the courage to keep moving forward.”
To make the divorce process a little easier, tap into some of these tips and tools. They could be just what you need in order to cope with your current or past separation from a partner.
Take it easy on yourself
Perspective means looking at things in a different way. This is important when you are trying to understand what to do about your parents getting a divorce. If you are feeling guilty or ashamed, remember that it takes two people to be in a relationship and two people to end one.
Remember that regardless of whatever occurred throughout your marriage, it is essential to process the divorce emotionally before you can move on. Allow yourself some compassionate self-forgiveness and take the time necessary so that you may embark upon a new journey in life.
Look for support
Getting through divorce is very hard. You might feel sad, angry, or scared. This is normal. You will need help from your friends and family to get through it. Find people to spend time with who understand what you are going through. This will help you feel better. If you don’t have anyone around you that you feel close enough sharing with. Try meeting with a local support group of individuals going through the same situation. Divorce care is a great resource for helping individuals find or start a support group near them.
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Make time for yourself after a divorce
Self-care is a crucial component to living our best lives, and when going through the tumultuous process of divorce it becomes more significant than ever. Making time for ourselves to do what we love, even if that simply means taking some alone time can make an immense difference in our mental state.
Do something new
If you’re searching for strategies to cope with the divorce process, staying occupied can prove beneficial. Allowing yourself too much downtime may lead to feelings of sadness and despair. Therefore, now is an ideal time to explore new activities that interest you and keep your mind off things–the perfect distraction!
Don’t let the changes in your life prevent you from finding joy. Why not take on a new hobby to fill those extra hours? For example, perhaps you’ve always wanted to learn a new craft or cooking class. Or maybe dancing and exercise are more up your alley? No matter what interests you have, now is an excellent time to make them into reality!
Don't engage in negative behavior with your former spouse
Especially when divorcing a narcissist, it’s hard to break away from old habits. Even though this may be difficult for you, remember that any conflict won’t improve the situation at all. Keeping this in mind will help both of you move forward and achieve successful outcomes better than engaging in unnecessary arguments.
Instead of allowing your ex to add more tension and chaos into your life, take a few deep breaths and step away. If it’s hard for you to break the bad patterns that exist due to the divorce, then center yourself by trying out new ways of handling challenging scenarios such as journaling, meditation or other calming approaches that can help retrain yourself on how to respond in these situations.
Always stay positive
Harnessing the strength of positive thinking can indeed have a powerful impact. Although it may be difficult to instill in yourself during times of divorce depression, with consistent practice, you will start training your brain to focus on the good and find solace through its positivity. There is no doubt that this approach will make it easier for you to adjust to life after separation than any other method available!
Take the time to reflect on yourself
Taking a moment to self-reflect is essential for personal growth. Every time you experience major life changes or events, it’s worth focusing on both the good and bad aspects of your journey.
How did you contribute to the relationship?
What valuable lessons have you taken away from it that can help shape your future relationships?
Are there any remorseful moments in which you need to apologize for or address differently next time around?
Do any resentments linger, and if so, what is the best way to efficiently release them?
As you move through this process of healing and self-discovery, it is possible that you will look back fondly on your marriage. While the negative may be hard to shake off completely, carving out time to reflect on all the good things that have come from your relationship, such as children, memories or relationships formed during those years. It can help ease any discomfort associated with letting go.
Coping with Divorce When You Don't Want It
Coping with divorce when you don’t want it can be an incredibly difficult situation to endure. According to John Gottman, a renowned therapy expert on marriages, taking care of your overall wellbeing and getting the necessary therapy should be cultivated immediately. This is so that one may cope with the inevitable transition as healthy as possible. While therapy may initially seem like an insurmountable task when dealing with the conflicting emotions of guilt, loneliness, sadness. It is important to remember that therapy provides a safe environment for you to discuss topics surrounding your marriage and/or divorce that can help you move forward in your life. When you are learning how to cope with divorce when you still love him or her, individual counseling sessions or group therapy will assist you in uncovering your unique needs. This will also help you find a healthy solution to processing the dissolution of your marriage.
How to get over a divorce after a long marriage?
Remember your children
When children are a part of the equation, this is an incredibly important factor. As parents, we want to exemplify how to navigate challenging moments and persevere through them in healthy ways. This also teaches them that any obstacle no matter how strong can be overcome.
Make the legal issues easier for you and them
While handling a divorce means contending with the legal side of things, it is wise to attempt staying away from long and arduous court procedures. If achievable, try using a local mediation attorney for your divorce proceedings as this will provide you with less stress, cost savings and time! This also greatly reduces the impact the divorce will have on your children in both the short and long term.
If you’re working through a divorce, counseling can provide new avenues to explore. A therapist can assist you in discovering fresh perspectives on life and recognizing detrimental thought cycles so that they may be crushed. With the right professional guidance, you will learn how to move ahead with your breakup with newfound wisdom.
Additionally, your children which are directly affected by your divorce, should seek counseling to help them better understand this difficult time. They will also learn effective coping strategies and tools they can use to navigate the situation with as little impact possible.
Did you know that the famous singer Adele recently told her audience that during her divorce she was seeing a therapist 5 times a day to help her deal with her turbulent emotions? You should never feel ashamed for seeking help. If you are looking for a “divorce therapist near me”, you have come to the right place. At Northstar Counseling & Therapy we specialize in marriage and divorce counseling.
Will life be the same after divorce?
Divorce is a major life change, and it’s important to acknowledge that things won’t be the same after this experience. It might take time to adjust to your new reality, but eventually you will find ways to cope with it.
After a divorce, you may feel like life is never going to get back to normal again. But it can, and with some planning and support, it will. Life after divorce doesn’t have to be overwhelming or filled with regret; instead, it can be full of hope for what lies ahead. Emotional healing is key as you move forward and build your life anew. Take time for self-care, reach out to friends, spend time in nature, journal, or do whatever activity helps you heal from the pain of the divorce. Connect with a local therapist or support group. Eventually, life will start coming together again. If needed you can and you’ll make new friends, find new activities that bring meaning and joy into your life. You will move into a new home and find ways to take care of yourself financially. With patience and perseverance, you’ll reach a place where life truly feels normal again.
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“Coping With Separation And Divorce”. Mental Health America, https://www.mhanational.org/separation-and-divorce. February 2023.